A TIME TO FORGIVE

Part One

August 1989

Peter sat on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt.  It was a sunny southern California morning but it may as well have been rainy and gray.  What he and his girl friend had planned for the day was not going to be an easy or pleasant task.  They had to tell her father, who just happened to be one of Peter's best friends, that they had been dating for the past seven months and they wanted to get married.  They had kept their relationship a secret in order to insure that The Monkees fifteen-year reunion tour was a success.  Last night had been the final show and they decided now was the time to tell her father.  They both knew that when her father found out about them, he would not react well.

"Hey, babe.  Are you about ready?  I told Dad I'd be there at ten," Peter's girlfriend, Carla, said as she came out of the bathroom.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he answered standing and tucking his shirt into his jeans.  "If I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't go through with this.  Your dad has a terrible temper and when he finds out about us, I'm going to be on the receiving end of that temper."

Carla stood in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  "I love you, too.  Maybe Dad won't be mad very long."

"We can only hope," he answered, hugging her back and kissing her lips.

~~~~~~~~~~

Peter and Carla pulled into the driveway of Carla's dad's house right on time.  Peter stopped the car out front and he and Carla walked to the door.  When they opened the door, a young woman in a maid's uniform met them.

"Carla.  Good morning.  Your father is expecting you.  Hello, Mr. Tork.  You can wait in the parlor.  Mr. Nesmith will be down in a moment."

Part Two

Several minutes later, Mike walked into the room.  "Good morning, sweetheart," he said, giving Carla a hug.

"Good morning, Dad," Carla said returning his hug.

"How are you?  Did you enjoy the show last night?"  Mike had not noticed Peter sitting on the couch yet and Peter was keeping quiet.  There was no need to draw attention to himself yet.

"I'm fine and yes, I enjoyed the show.  You all did a wonderful job."  She took his hand and led him to the couch and chair in the middle of the room.  "Come sit down.  I need to talk to you."

He sat down in the chair across from the couch and finally noticed Peter. 

"Hi, Peter.  What are you doing here?" Mike asked.

"Hi, Mike," Peter answered.

"Dad, Peter and I have something to discuss with you," Carla said as she sat down next to Peter on the couch. 

"Okay."  Mike was confused now and couldn't even imagine what the two of them would have to discuss with him.

Carla didn't know any other way to say it but to just come right out with it.

"Dad, Peter and I are good friends, very good friends."  Carla looked down at her hands, swallowed the nervousness creeping up on her and continued.  "We have been dating for the past seven months and we are planning on getting married."  She felt Peter's hand on her back giving her strength while she waited for her father's reaction.

Mike sat quietly trying to comprehend what Carla had just said.  He felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him.  Peter was dating Carla, his daughter.  The surprise was now turning to anger.  He looked at Peter with disgust.

"You.  How could you?  She's only twenty-one years old.  You're as old as me, older than me.  Good Lord, you're forty-seven.  What are you thinking?" he yelled.

"Mike, I know there is quite an age difference but I really love her.  She's a wonderful lady," Peter answered as calmly as he could.

Mike jumped up from the chair, grabbed Peter's shirt collar and yanked him from the couch.  "You love her?  She's just a child."

"Dad, calm down," Carla said trying to ease the tension.  She stood beside Peter.  "Let him go.  He didn't do anything wrong.  I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions."

Mike looked at Carla, still holding Peter by his shirt.  He didn't want to let him go.  He wanted to smash Peter's face with his fist.

"I love him, too and I want to marry him."

Marry him, Mike thought.  How could she think like that?  What had Peter done to her?  Just then a sickening thought occurred to him.

"You're sleeping with her," he growled.  It was a statement, not a question.  The thought of Peter doing that with his little girl made him sick.

Peter knew he'd had it now.  There was no way he was getting out of this without a black eye or a bloody nose.

"You b*****d," Mike said then pulled back his fist and with all his anger behind it, smashed it into Peter's face, sending him to the floor.

"Dad, no," Carla yelled just as Peter hit the floor.  She rushed to his side and checked his bleeding nose.

Mike stood there looking at the two of them.  "I don't ever want to see either of you again."  He looked at Carla.  "As long as you are seeing him, don't bother coming back here."  He turned and walked out of the room and out of their lives.

~~~~~~~~~~

January 1999

Carla and Peter sat in Dr. Smith's office across the large walnut desk from the young doctor.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Mrs. Tork, but the cancer is too far advanced and there is nothing we can do."  Dr. Smith hated it when he had to give people news like this especially when they were so young and should have their whole life ahead of them instead of behind them.

Carla heard the words the doctor said but couldn't quite comprehend it all.  She had cancer, she knew that.  It was too far advanced to treat.  She was going to die.  No, she thought.  She was only thirty-one.  She had two small children that needed a mother.  She had a husband she didn't want to leave.  She had a father she hadn't talked to in ten years.  There was too much unfinished business to leave this world.

Suddenly she remembered Peter was sitting next to her.  He was holding her hand and asking the doctor something.  She tried hard to listen.

"It could be six months to a year.  There's no way to tell for sure how long," the doctor answered.

She couldn't take this anymore.  She had to get out of there.

"Excuse me." she said, standing.  "I'm going to the restroom."

She made her way down the hallway, finding the restroom through tear filled eyes.  When she got inside the room and locked the door, she broke down and cried till she couldn't cry anymore

Part Three

"Peter, I have to talk to Dad.  I can't die without making up with him," Carla said as they sat on the back porch of their San Francisco home watching their children play.  It had been two weeks since they had sat across the desk from Dr. Smith and listened to his bleak prognosis.  Carla had come to terms with her fate and was ready to tie up the loose ends of her life.

"I know, but I don't know how we will get him to talk to us.  He has never made any attempt to contact us, even when the kids were born."

"Maybe Davy and Micky can help us.  I have an idea," Carla answered with a twinkle in her eye.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"You think this will work?" Peter asked as they stepped up to the door of the old beach house that Davy now owned.

"It has to," Carla replied, opening the door.

They had arranged a reunion and Micky had talked until he was blue in the face to get Mike to come.  Mike had finally agreed to come just to get Micky to shut up.  Just in case Mike decided to back out, Micky went to pick him up and bring him to make sure he showed up.

"Hi, everybody," Peter said as they walked in the door.

"Hello," Davy said coming to meet them.  He pulled Carla into a loving hug and asked, "How are you feeling, luv?"

"I feel good.  Nervous, but good."  She loved these people like they were her family.  The last ten years she had become very close to Davy and Micky and their families since her father would have nothing to do with her.

"You look wonderful," he said putting his arm around her and guiding her into the room.

After about twenty minutes, the phone rang.  Davy talked a short while and then told Peter and Carla that Mike and Micky were on their way.  The plan was that Peter and Carla would stay upstairs until Mike was inside and comfortable, then she would come down and try to talk to him.  Hopefully, he would stay and hear her out.

Soon Micky and Mike came in and Mike started to relax.  Carla quietly walked down the stairs and came to stand beside Mike.

"Dad."

Mike spun around at the sound of her voice.  "Carla.  What are you doing here?"  If he were honest with himself he would have to admit he was glad to see her.

"I need to talk to you.  It's very important," Carla said.

Everyone was quiet, holding their breath to see how he reacted, hoping for the best.  Mike considered her words and looked around for Peter.  He wasn't sure he wanted to see Peter.  Apparently, he wasn't there.  He looked around the room at his friends and decided he would not make a scene tonight.

"Okay, I'll listen to what you have to say," he finally answered.

"Let's go out for a walk on the beach," Carla said, taking a chance and linking their arms as they walked out the patio doors.

Everyone watched them go and sighed a collective sigh of relief, offering up silent prayers that everything would be okay.

"They'll be fine," Peter said with more confidence than he actually felt, as he came down the stairs.  He quietly walked to the patio doors to watch his wife and his friend try to mend their fences.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike and Carla walked in silence until they came to the water's edge.  The sun was hanging low in the sky reflecting off the water making it sparkle like jewels.

"How have you been, Dad?"  Carla asked.

He wanted to answer that he had been lonely and stubborn.  That his stupid pride had kept him from calling her more than once in the last ten years.  But instead he answered, "I've been all right.  I got all the cards, letters and pictures you've sent.  You have nice looking kids."

"Thank you," she smiled.  She had sent him the cards hoping to melt some of the ice that had formed around him.  She was glad he hadn't just thrown them in the trash.

"Are they here tonight?" he said, hoping they were.  He wanted to meet his grandchildren.

"They will be.  Micky's daughter took them to the park to play.  She baby-sits for us and they love her."

They fell silent again then Mike finally spoke.  "How's Peter?"

Carla's heart jumped for joy that he mentioned Peter.  "He's fine.  He's always busy at the studio.  It seems that somebody always wants him to play on a record."  Peter was now a session musician and very much in demand.

"He's a very talented musician.  I always admired that," Mike admitted.

Carla was glad her father was willing to talk.  Now she had to drop a bomb on him.

"Dad, I went to the doctor a few weeks ago because I hadn't been feeling well.  I got some devastating news."  She was still holding his arm and tightened her grip slightly.  "I have ovarian cancer and it's too far advanced to treat.  I'm dying, Dad."

Mike couldn't believe what she was saying.  Cancer.  Dying.  His only child was dying.  She was too young.  He looked into her tear filled eyes.

"Cancer," he whispered.  He felt as if someone had just pulled the world out from under him and he was falling into a black hole.

"Did you get a second opinion?  Maybe your doctor missed something. We can get another doctor.  Try alternative medicine."   His mind was whirling with all kinds of ideas now.

"No, Dad.  I'm dying.  There is nothing anyone can do."  She wiped a tear from her cheek. 

How could she be so calm, Mike thought.  She didn't even look scared.  "How long do you have?"

"Six months, maybe a year," she answered.

My God, he thought.  This is not fair.  He turned and wrapped his arms around his only daughter.  "This is not fair, baby," he said through the lump in his throat.  "I'll help any way I can.  If you need money or someone to help with the kids.  Whatever you need."  He was crying now, too.  He held her tight against his chest as they both cried.  "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Part Four

Peter watched from the patio doors.  He was pleased Mike had actually agreed to talk to Carla.  Peter could see the two of them standing near the water, Carla holding Mike's arm.  They seemed to be having a civil conversation.  Then Peter saw Mike put his arms around her and he knew that she had just told him about the cancer. 

Tears filled Peter's eyes as he thought about what must be going through Mike's mind, finding out his only child was dying soon.  His heart went out to his friend.  Even though Mike had not been in contact with him for the last ten years, Peter never considered him
anything but a friend.  He knew one day they would once again be close friends.  Carla always called him the eternal optimist.  He always knew the day would come, but he had no idea it would come with such a price.

Mike and Carla started back to the house and Peter moved from his spot at the door, wiping the tears from his eyes.  He went to the kitchen for a drink and found Micky there.

"Hey, Peter," Micky said with a smile.

"Hi, Mick.  They're on their way back from the beach," Peter said, filling a glass with water.

"Are you okay?"

Peter looked up at Micky.  He was so grateful for the friends he had.  "As long as I have friends like you, I'll be just fine."  Peter gave Micky a big hug and then draped his arm across Micky's shoulders.  "I love you and Davy like brothers."

Micky put his arm across Peter's shoulders.  "I love you, too, man.  If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

The patio doors opened then, and Mike and Carla walked in.  Mike knew whatever problem he had with Peter now had to be resolved.  He had been made painfully aware that life was too short to hold a grudge for something that suddenly seemed so unimportant.  He spotted Peter in the kitchen with Micky.

"Peter," he said, going to the kitchen.

Peter and Micky looked up to see Mike coming toward them. 

"Peter, can we talk?"

Micky and Peter looked at each other and Peter nodded to Micky.  He squeezed Peter's shoulder and excused himself, patting Mike on the back as he stepped past him.

"Peter, I want to apologize for everything that happened ten years ago.  I never should have reacted like that and I never should have let it go on as long as it has.  I kept thinking that anytime Carla would be coming back home but she never did.  She sent me letters and pictures and I knew how happy you two were together but I just didn't want to admit that I was wrong.  I was just too bullheaded to give in to my pride.  I am sorry for hitting you and for not being there when I should have been."  Mike swallowed hard and then said the words he should have said a long time ago.  "Can you ever forgive me?"

Peter watched Mike as he said his peace.  He had been hoping for this moment ever since he and Carla had left his house on that fateful day.

"Of course, Mike.  I forgave you a long time ago.  I know it was a shock for you to find out about Carla and me but everything has turned out.  We've been very happy and we have two wonderful kids."

The front door opened then and Micky's daughter walked in with Peter and Carla's children.  Peter and Mike watched them come in and Peter looked at Mike.  Mike was watching the kids with a look of wonder on his face. 

"Speaking of two wonderful kids, how about we go introduce you to your grandchildren?"  Peter put his arm around Mike's shoulders and led him into the living room where Carla was holding a two year old girl and a four year old boy was standing at her feet.

Carla turned to Mike.  "Dad, come here.  I'd like you to meet Kayla and Robert."

Mike looked down at the little boy with blonde hair and light brown eyes.  He smiled at Mike and showed that he had dimples just like his father.

"Hi there, Robert," Mike said, squatting down to the boy's level.

"Hi," Robert said, still smiling.  "You're my granddad, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am.  I have lots of pictures of you.  You're a very good-looking young man."  Mike was surprised when the boy moved closer to him and wrapped his arms around his neck, hugging him tight.  Mike returned the hug, fighting to keep his tears under control.  How could he have let his pride keep him away from this young boy?  He had deprived the boy and himself of a relationship that should have been there.  Robert let go of him and stepped back to his mother's side.

Mike stood up and Carla introduced him to the little girl.  "This is Kayla."

"Hi, Kayla.  Can I hold you?" he asked, holding out his hands to her.

She was not shy and leaned toward him.  He took her in his arms and held her close to him, closing his eyes.  He remembered what it had felt like to hold Carla like this when she was little.  He pushed her away slightly to look at her face.  She had dark brown hair and blue eyes.  She looked just like Carla at that age.

"I'm your Granddad, Kayla."

"Dandad," she said.  Mike pulled her close again, this time including Carla in the hug.  He vowed right then and there he would not waste anymore time.  Whatever time she had left he would spend it with her, making up for the last ten years.

Part Five

March 2000

Mike had spent as much time as possible with Carla, Peter and the kids during the last fourteen months.  He needed to make sure Carla knew how much he loved her and he wanted to make sure his grandchildren knew him.  They had gone to the beach, taken drives in the country and gone on picnics.  He had enjoyed the time he spent with them.  It had broken his heart to watch her the last six weeks of her life.  She had been in so much pain and the medication was not working anymore.  He would have given his own life if it had meant she could go on living.

He had also watched Peter deal with her dying.  He was never more sure of the fact that Peter loved Carla as he was now and he wished he could have seen that years ago.  Carla was staying at home instead of the hospital and Mike had stayed with them the last two weeks.  Sometimes he would find Peter in his music room in the middle of the night softly playing his guitar and crying.  Usually, Mike just left him alone but one night two days before Carla's death he found Peter there again and decided to join him.

"Hi, Mike," Peter said quietly as he looked up from his guitar.

"Hi," he said sitting on the piano bench across from the chair Peter sat in.  "How are you holding up?"

"As good as can be expected, I guess.  It won't be much longer.  She's in so much pain all the time.  She drifts in and out of  consciousness.  She can't go on like this much longer," Peter answered, strumming random notes on his guitar.

Suddenly, he broke down in tears.  Mike took the guitar out of  Peter's hands and put his arms around him.

"Mike, what am I going to do when she's gone?  How will I go on?  How will I raise two small children by myself?" Peter asked through his tears, as he held tight to Mike.

Mike couldn't control his own tears now.  "I don't know, Peter.  But I know you will and you're not alone.  I'm here and I always will be.  Micky and Davy are here, too."

Mike held Peter in his arms until they both stopped crying.

"Peter, I'm so sorry for the way I acted the day you and Carla came to my house.  I wasted so many years because of my stubborn pride.  I  will regret it for the rest of my life.  I missed so much.  I should have been here."

"You're here now," Peter said quietly.

"But my daughter is days away from dying.  I should have been here all those years."  Mike was crying again and Peter put his arms around his friend.

"It's all right.  You've had the last few months to make some memories that will last a lifetime.  And she has always loved you.  Nothing you ever did could change that fact."

~~~~~~~~~~~

The small crowd stood around the casket at the same cemetery where Carla's mother had been laid to rest twenty years before.  The sky was gray and the wind was cool.  Mike pulled Kayla closer to him in an effort to keep her warm and to draw comfort from her.  Peter stood next to Mike with his hands on Robert's shoulders as the boy stood in front of him.  The minister was giving his sermon about returning to the earth from where we came, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  Before Mike knew it, the service was over and people were filing past him and Peter, shaking hands and expressing their sympathies.

Micky and his wife took Kayla and Robert.   "We'll be waiting in the car.  Take as long as you need," Micky said and made his way to the family car.

Mike and Peter stood quietly side by side for a few moments.  Finally, Peter turned to Mike.  "Ready to go?"

Mike wanted to say no, that he never wanted to leave her.  "I guess so."

Peter draped his arm around Mike's shoulders and they started for the car.  "Everything will be okay."

Mike put his arm around Peter's shoulders.  He was glad to have Peter back in his life.  He chuckled at the thought of what Carla called him, the eternal optimist.  "Yeah, it will be."

They got into the car and Mike took Kayla into his arms and hugged her tight.  Robert climbed on Peter's lap and snuggled close as the car rolled out of the cemetery gates.

THE END